i ditched my apple watch - here’s why.
earlier this year i had a prayer experience in which Jesus led me to a figurative “room” in my heart. i shared a post about it in January:
“i asked Jesus to show me my heart + He led me there. someday i’ll share the intricacies of the experience but today what burns on my mind to share is this:
as we walked into my heart, a quaint little cottage, i began to explore. a fire burned bright + warm in the living area - it lit the entire place. “cool,” i thought - doing pretty well so far 😏…
as i began to walk down the hall, to my left stood the “Motherhood” room. excitedly, i opened the door + made my way in.
instead of finding toys + joy + laughter + presence, i was met with a room full of technology. from floor to ceiling, almost every square inch was covered in technology. computers + phones + tablets + keyboards. there was little room - if any - for toys or joy or laughter or presence…
i knew in my soul it was Jesus’ way of calling me out. it was His way of saying: your primary vocation as a mother is PRESENCE. it is laughter + joy + simply BEING. “I will provide the time to DO,” were the words He spoke over me that morning.
a dose of reality + of humility. it’s certainly not what i WANTED to see or feel or hear or be made aware of - but it’s e x a c t l y what i needed.
it was an experience that hit home for me - right in the heart, you could say. a grand conviction that was made that day: in order to be the mother i know God intends me to be, technology must have it’s own space. it’s own room. it’s own time. it’s own place.
since then, i’ve been working at this - though imperfectly. creating space to be Mom + Mom alone. creating space to work + then, be done. creating space to check the apps + then put them away. asking, no - begging, Him to show me what it means to live entirely where my feet are.
He’s doing exactly that.
like anything with Jesus, it’s been a journey. an eye opening, heart stretching journey. and it has been for the best.
an encouragement to us all [myself included] to put the technology away. to quit buying into the lie that if we are not “productive” by the world’s standards, then we must be failing. to see technology as the tool + resource it is, instead of living as if it were our whole life.
our lives are happening right in front of us, and it isn’t on the screen you’re holding.
you are not failing when you choose to be 100% present with your littles. and God - in His generosity - will make a way for all else. when we allow Him to rightly order our lives instead of trying to do it ourselves, peace, joy, laughter and presence are are the tremendously beautiful fruit that is born.”
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fast forward to the present: by the grace of God alone, i’ve continued to set really great boundaries for myself as it relates to my work time/technology time on the computer. however, not long after i wrote the post above, i started to feel really torn with my AppleWatch. EVEN THOUGH my phone was in a drawer away from the action AND my watch was on silent, i’d still catch myself “checking in quickly” on my watch - scrolling the screen to see what emails or Marco Polos or texts or client messages had come in. sure, maybe it wasn’t 10 minutes [aghem or more!!!!!!] spent absentmindedly scrolling on my phone anymore, but GOSH it was still seconds spent away from the present. it was still a distraction i welcomed and walked toward. it was still taking me out of the here and now - even though it was merely seconds. i’d catch myself feeling agitated as i came back into the present - this isn’t how i desire to live life!
i was open to the idea of ditching my watch, but a few things in particular made me hesitant about giving it up: 1. the health stats it provides: steps, energy burned, total minutes spent moving, etc. things that - as a trainer - have been really helpful to me over the years within my own health journey. who doesn’t love seeing that they’ve walked over 10k steps in a day, stood for 14 hours, not just 12, and have crushed their move goal for the day. me - it’s me. i love all of it. however - little by little - i began to realize that even in the name of health, the fact that i was distracted so much of the time…wasn’t healthy.
“what would it feel like to workout without my watch on? THAT would be crazy.” i thought to myself. i mean, we’ve all seen the Reels in which “your workout doesn’t count unless you’re wearing your watch,” right?!
HOW DID WE GET HERE? honestly!
look around. how many eyes and smiling faces greet your own? i’m willing to bet, it’s not the majority that you see. because we are constantly buried in technology. how many times has Callan spoken to me and i’m “checking in quickly” on my watch. ugh, i want to poke my own eyeballs out. thank you, Jesus, for your grace, teaching moments and redirection so i don’t poke my eyeballs out!
so with all of that experienced and prayed through: i made an executive decision for myself - i ditched my AppleWatch.
AND YOU GUYS. i honestly haven’t felt so free from technology in…years. i’m less distracted and distractible. i’m most present. less concerned with what’s going on beyond where my feet are. holding my business hours with consistency. working out because it FEELS GOOD, not cause my watch says it was good. it’s just all - GOOD THINGS. i did grab this watch from Freestyle USA and i’m stoked about it. it’s super fun, tells the time and the date and - in this season of life - that is exactly what i need and all i’m looking for.
what i’m not saying is this: TECHNOLOGY IS EVIL. cause it’s not. what i am saying is this: God is inviting you to evaluate every day how you use and spend time on the technology you have. even technology that is BENEFICIAL and PRODUCTIVE can become a distraction - has it for you? i encourage you to give yourself permission to sit with what is uncomfortable, if anything. He wants to speak into it, lead you through it and show you the Way.
praying for you as you discern and do the hard work that heart work requires of us. none of this is easy, but gosh - is it worth it. here’s to PRESENCE + the gift it truly is.
Shalini