Lent 2025

“Forward then, my daughters! Hasten over your work and build the little cocoon. Let us renounce self-love and self-will, care for nothing earthly, do penance, pray, mortify ourselves, be obedient, and perform all the other good works of which you know. Act up to your light; you have been taught your duties. Die! Die as the silkworm does when it has fulfilled the office of its creation, and you will see God and be immersed in His greatness, as the little silkworm is enveloped in its cocoon…” Interior Castle - the Fifth Mansion, by St. Teresa of Avila

i sat in my prayer chair a few weeks ago and read those few lines above. i’ve slowly been making my way through St. Teresa’s dense + weighty words - trying to make sense of much that I don’t understand, quite frankly. yet the lines above struck and have stayed with me.

today is Ash Wednesday. the beginning of Lent. a new season in which we have the opportunity in a special way to pray, fast, and give alms. a new season in which He invites us to come and sit with Him beneath the olive tree at the Mount of Olives. a new season in which He invites us to accompany Him into the Garden of Gethsemane [meaning ‘oil press’ in Greek!] - to be with Him in His agony. a new season in which [perhaps] He invites us to comfort Him and be His resting place as He experiences His Passion…

i’ve had so many conversations with Matt lately on Faith. it is by the grace of God alone that i’m where i’m at - my heart desires to be near to Jesus in the Eucharist. to spend time with Him in daily prayer. to sit with Him at the Chapel. to attune my heart to His own.

and yet, what He’s gently made clear leading up to Lent is this: i really don’t like [and am really bad at] fasting.

——

my alarm sounds and i wobble out of bed as my bare feet hit the cold tile floor in our bathroom. i groggily silence my alarm and quickly turn back toward bed. i hop in again - five more minutes of cozy warmth, i tell myself - and before i realize it, 20 have gone by.

I HESITATE TO FAST FROM COMFORT.

i’m leaving the gym and feel the nudge to throw my phone in my gym bag instead of scroll through work emails on my out. i choose to scroll and mid-scroll, i look up only to realize i’ve missed an opportunity to say hello to a new gym-friend because i was too busy not being where my feet were.

I HESITATE TO FAST FROM DISTRACTION WHICH LEADS ME, ULTIMATELY, TO A LACK OF PRESENCE IN REALITY.

it’s the end of the day, post-dinner, and i grab myself a bowl of the Tilamook Vanilla Ice Cream [not sponsored by Tilamook - it’s just sooo good] that waits for me in the freezer. i also grab the chocolate syrup and mini-chocolate chips to boot. a little nudge i sense on my heart: would you sacrifice a topping for Me? as quickly as the nudge comes, it goes - because there is no room in my mind or heart for such nonsense. could fasting from something so small matter anyway…?

I HESITATE TO FAST AT ALL BELIEVING THAT THE SACRIFICE IS TOO SMALL.

i’m about to hop in bed and head to our closet to change into my PJs. instead of folding my jeans back up and hanging my sweatshirt, i drop them on the floor and there they remain until…well…until i realize i can’t even open my drawers and HAVE to take care of that pile of clothes, finally.

I HESITATE TO FAST FROM CONVENIENCE.

——

the “little things.” the choices i make throughout each day that i claim to be “insignificant” and “too small.” He’s been revealing to me that THOSE things. THOSE moments. THOSE people in front of me. THOSE are opportunities to die to myself. THOSE are opportunities to renounce what is comfortable and convenient and seemingly “small.” THOSE are opportunities to truly fast…to be emptied of myself so that i may decrease and He may increase.

i am realizing - through this beautiful call to fast - that when we walk with Him, there is no such thing as a thing too “small.” He will use all things to draw us deeper into His most Sacred + Holy Heart. He will use all things to re-create us, transform us, and make us new - from the inside out.

in Mark 9, Jesus heals a boy with an evil spirit - which the disciples had tried to do on their own. "Jesus took [the boy] by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when [Jesus] had entered the house, His disciples asked him privately, ‘Why could we not cast it out?’ And [Jesus] said to them, ‘This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer and fasting.’”

fasting. it’s something i’ve told myself isn’t so important so long as i have a good prayer life and am in relationship with Him. but i sense deeply the call to learn to die to myself this Lent.

i want to hole up in a little cocoon during this season as St. Teresa mentions, and let Him possess me entirely. to be still with Him in the dark knowing that there is light to come. i want to sit with Him under the olive tree and understand more deeply what it means to be crushed and pressed and separated and decanted and made into fragrant oil for His glory.

so for me, this Lenten season poses a few invitations: tending to the “small things” that i’ve neglected and ignored; learning to fast and mortify my senses; sitting quietly next to Him, under the olive tree; and learning - in the silence - what it means to truly die to self.

know of my prayers for you this Lent. that - like the little boy in the Gospel who is healed and lifted to his feet - He will take your hand + raise you up, too.

here’s to leaning in and “acting up to our Light!” - that we may be made truly new as we intentionally + freely enter into this quiet cocoon.

SCB.